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How single parents successfully raise well-behaved children


By Bunmi Sofola THE statistics of broken marriages are never encouraging. When they got to where one in five marriages end in divorce, the alarm bell clanged. They got to two and it became a sort of ‘so-what!’ now no one really knows what the statistics are because some separated couples never even bothered with the cumbersome divorce process.

They just separate, start different homes and get on with their Iives; with the woman now the typical mother hen, clasping her children to her chest; her trophies for her long-suffering!

She’s then faced with the task of raising her children single handedly without the benefit of a resident husband or father. Instead of panic however, she has a long list of female friends who turned out okay. “I was only four when my parents’ marriage packed up,” recalled Princess, a fairly successful “Oil and Gas” player who is a single parent of two. “My mother worked as a secretary in an oil company and we lived in a middle income company flat. I had two elder brothers and we initially missed our dad.

“Once in a while, he visited showering us with cash gifts that always put mum’s back up. ‘Why don’t you pay their school fees for once, instead of occasionally buying their affection,’ she would yell.

“In time mum got a lover but he didn’t live in. He had his own flat and was also separated from his wife. Once in a while, mum and I would spend the weekend with him when the boys were in the boarding school. Gabriel, my mum’s boyfriend, was the closest person to a dad that I had. I was particularly close to him, and he was always affectionate towards me. Once in a while, he would come to where I slept on the sofa cuddling me.

If I slept in their bed whenever they were in the living room, he would sneak into the bedroom, take my hand and move it over his body so I was touching him. He would then lift up my nightie and touch and kiss me. I found it a bit strange. My real dad had never cuddled me like that before, but when he said it was our special secret, I was pleased. He was my daddy and it was only right we had special moments.

“Our special secret continued especially when mum was at work or away shopping. Some times, when I was in the bathroom he would sneak in to watch me, then touch himself. I was only happy he liked me so much.

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